Special Edible's New Home (and a Baby Monkey on the Back of a Pig)

The people demanded an answer. Their rebukes came at tasting events and by confused texts or awkward e-mail. One chunk of outrage found me at a class where it was otherwise super-sunny skies—and how could it not be? We were pickling carrots and Brussels sprouts at Happy Girl Kitchen—and went a little like this:

"WTF, bro. WTF. What's with the blog."

They thought I was lazy, or AWOL, or laying face down in a corner booth, dead from over-researching my beat.

The real truth reveals a dark side to food journalism detailed beautifully in this film about a sensitive chef with a sharp blade.

Product Placement from Cailin Yatsko on Vimeo.

Only I was not offed and eaten as retribution for bitter evaluations of an articulate and angry chef.

Special Edible never stopped, it was merely munching along in a new place found on the new Weekly website under Food Blog. I was prevented from updating you here about that until now by a sequence of technological burps that can best be described as life-shortening.

In the meantime, though, in that new Food Blog slot I've unspooled an epic 36-hour loop through Big Sur and Paso Robles, posted an EcoFarm report from an actual organic farmer and listed 2011's top food events, among other palatable posts.

And wait'll you see what's coming soon: scenes from the Napa Wine Train, insider scoops from the blockbuster Clambake for a Cure and the best food commercial series I've ever laid my ravenous eyes on (I can't tell what country it's from, but it doesn't much matter when you are laughing that hard).

I do want to thank you for putting up with the transition. And I see no better way of doing that than with a monkey-wrapped porkchop:

Hidden Gem #1 of 2010 (and Three Other Top Tucked-Away Treasures)

There are different reasons each of these qualify as undetected treasures—maybe they're off the beaten path, or enjoy a chef with credentials you might not expect to find there. But they don't differ when it comes to taking care of people and clearly loving what they do. You can taste it.

1. Viva La Crepe (601-4847)

It's not uncommon to hear small places compared to closets, but in this case, that might be a disservice to closets.

VLC rents space inside an ice cream and coffee joint that's already petite, on the first horizontal branch of Fisherman's Wharf, where few locals would ever think to look for food, let alone thoroughly authentic and delicious, sweet and savory crepes made with unbelievable buckwheat batter.

Owner-operators Thierry Crocquet and Daniel Peron clearly love what they’re doing. I do too—try the homemade caramel apple sweetie or the seasonal veggie with two kinds of cheese.

2. Courtside Café at Chamisal (484-1135)

Chef David Frappeia could cook in any kitchen in county, but here—where few realize the restaurant is open to the public (and the courts, pools, saunas and such are too, for $20/day)—seems to fit since he's such a fitness nut.

He also loves great ingredients, which makes for great crab benedicts, sandwiches, salads and even French-inspired dinners. The sand dab sandwich I had in the Corral de Tierra sun was heavenly; the robust cobb (above) was on its game in a major way. He's actively evolving the wine list, continuing wine dinners and generally kicking ass.

3. Element Tasting Bar and Pizza Bistro (998-7045)

Buried in a strip mall next to gas station on River Road, this place bursts with familial affection, thanks to welcoming owner-operator Misty Romassa and the hardy but deferential growers and vitners from the neighboring plots who have made it their regular spot.

Massive prime ribs, tasty pizzas and excellent tastes from a solid selection of wines—featuring family label Addamo Winery—rank among the main draws.

4. Brophy’s Tavern in Carmel (624-2476)

Anyone who can tell a a pint from a piña colada knows this is one of Carmel's favorite watering holes, and a good place to watch the game and grab a bite too.

But they may not realize the man behind the quietly excellent—and still improving—menu is one of my favorite chefs anywhere, Brian Christensen, formerly of landmark Stokes Restaurant in Monterey.

Sneaky: a top chef simmering greatness at a little bar-grill. I love it—like I loved the fried chicken sandwich and unbeatable Kobe sliders I had New Year's Eve.

Zmak Some Sense Into You

Maybe you are like me. Not so bright.

It took my remedial self repeat visits to Marina—to the largest ginger purveyor in the world, The Ginger People, to the under-appreciated Italian hideout Frutti de Mar, to new addition Noodle Bar, to always good D'Anna Thai and city standby Dishes Bistro—to actively remember that Marina is an excellent destination for lunch and dinner.

A big contributor to that shift in understanding wasn't word that Tommy's has $1 breakfasts or insider knowledge that Kula Ranch claims some of the best sports-watching specials (and dog menus), though they do. It was the International Flavors of Marina annual event. The party's a bargain, and always leaves my belly stuffed with well-crafted snacks and my pockets stuffed with business cards.

I test drove Mayor Bruce Delgado's electric car at the last one. Soon after, Delgado charged up an effort to better announce those flavors with signs and promotions during the U.S. Open, which helped score a sizeable boom in restaurant business.

Now, Marina is doing its own Restaurant Week Jan. 22-28, something only possible in a town this size with enough quality restaurants and industry cohesion.

Ten restaurants are involved in the sophomore run. I asked longtime champion of Marina, event chair and Chamber of Commerce player Tina Zmak for her recommendations at the establishments involved, and she hit me with the following insights after consulting with similarly qualified Marina taste testers like her husband Steve and Susan and Jay Boettner.

Each of the restaurants or other food movers below is involved in Restaurant Week, in which guests earn passport stamps for each place visited, which are then translated into entries in a prize drawing for free dinners. Eat at seven spots, get seven chances to win a package of 10 dinners.

Here are Zmak's favorite ways to enjoy 10 top Marina spots:

Coffee Mia Brew Bar
Caprese gourmet panini (tomato, mozzarella and basil w/ pesto on green onion focaccia) and a cannoli for dessert

El Palmar
Two sopes with guacamole (a vegetarian special)

English Ales Brewery
Fish and chips with a Black Hound Stout

Everyone’s Harvest Marina Farmers Market
Anything fresh and organic!

Francisco’s
Clam chowder in a bread bowl and Francisco's enchilada (with chicken)

Kula Ranch Island Steakhouse
Fire-roasted artichokes appetizer and certified Angus filet mignon

Marina Village Restaurant
Everyday breakfast special (two eggs, two strips of bacon, two sausages and choice of pancakes, French toast or rice for only $5.75)

Michael’s Grill & Taqueria
House burrito (charbroiled shrimp, blackened chicken, rice, cheese)

The Otter’s Den
Wine Down Wednesday complimentary assortment of cheeses when you order a glass of wine

Wild Thyme Deli & Cafe
Greek salad served with hummus and pita chips

CRBC: Suddenly a Music Venue Too

Cannery Row Brewing Company had the liveliest dance floors the Row has seen outside of Sly's, Bullwackers and Blue Fin in some time on New Year's Eve thanks to a friend and colleague of mine, DJ Hanif Wondir.

Now they're going even bigger, with a late-breaking show booked by Joe Fletcher, the local promoter whose biggest coup was his Roots-Michael Franti-Cake-led Monterey Music Summit.

After a Friday show at the Monterey Maritime Museum, Los Angeles-based Morgan Nagler of Whispertown, the Heartstring Symphony, and Jake Bellows of Neva Dinova decided to stick around for an encore, as Weekly scribe Sarah Rubin describes with a recent news flash.

Should be interesting to see how the singer-songwriter fans mingle with the BCS Championship Game crowd.

Best part: The 8pm show is free.

A Look Back at 2010: Most Missed Departures

Plenty of restaurants famously fold up their tableclothes every year, let alone in years when disposable income is in the garbage disposal.

Monterey County saw a typical wave of turnover in certain spots that can't seem to retain any venture, like the Mucky Duck-adjacent space when Karma Cafe came and went (in the wake of a flopped sushi joint and a surrendering French outpost)—though the most recent occupant, Cabo Blue Taco Shack, makes a mean and authentic torta (more on that soon).

This list, the first of several looking-back rankings, isn't so much interested in identifying those flash-in-the-sauce-pan spots, but honoring longer and more dearly held operations that bid us adieu in '10.

7. Rancho Cellars and Cepage Deli
This Carmel Crossroads standby didn't evaporate for lack of traffic or the acidic economy, but because the building’s owners sold. Jacques Melac and chef-wife Janet, who ran the Cepages Deli within the store, “don’t know how the wine business is going to make it through the next two years,” so they weren't too stressed about taking a break. Just months later, Janet is cheffing fabulously at Fifi's and Jacques is helping run the show at Cannery Row Brewing Company before he jumps ship for Pacific's Edge.

6. Lattitudes
Tene Shake had a prime tourist spot, but he also made it attractive for locals with various discounts, a strong happy hour and regular lounge music. Anytime you can eat tasty crab rangoons and sip an alcoholic milkshake overlooking the Pacific—at reasonable prices—it's a win, which gives this Lovers Point loss its place on the list.

5. Amarin Thai
Though this sucker sat on arguably the most trafficked corner of the county—across from the Aquarium—shockingly few folks knew its killer coconut soups even existed. Nothing insanely mind-blowing, but above-average Southeast Asian in a cute storefront with good people in a strategic location. Alas.

4. Monterey County Herald local food coverage
People understandably think that I'd be stoked that the Herald's beheaded its food coverage. Not so much. There is so much good stuff that deserves attention there's no way we at the Weekly can spotlight it all. Plus, Mike Hale and Melissa Snyder of "He Said She Said" are insightful, intuitive writers. My colleague and longtime local food critic Ray Napolitano may have put it best: "It doesn't seem very sensible," he said at the time. "My guess is that is a good barometer that, financially, the paper is in deep sh*t. In a community like this where there are more resturants per capita than almost anywhere, to not have a connection between the local daily and the restaurants is really a sad and mournful day."

3. Zocalo
One of the most consistent and popular Mexican restaurants in Pacific Grove said adios, as did its Salinas branch. The good news: Much of the staff is back in P.G. with Mando's, though the results are hit and miss, as new Weekly food writer Ulia Zettie details in this week's review.

2. Clementine's Kitchen
This one hurts. Every time I needed something useful and fun for a friend who likes food and cooking, I could be found finding my way here. They had it all: mustards, wines, trippy tools you never knew you couldn't live without. Practical things with personality, interpreted by a classy and good-humored staff that might even have a wine tasting going on while you shop. Last visit there I tracked down an imported Chianti, a jar of sun-dried tomatoes in delicious oil and a elegant little kitchen contraption that diced, scooped and chopped—all for maybe $25. They also did cooking classes in a little demo kitchen and always brightened your day with their sunny disposition.

1. Tastes Like Chicken Ranch
Speaking of pain, this is a stinger with big-picture revelations. TLC's free-range chickens and pigs delivered amazing eggs and bacon, but more importantly, their small family farm did everything right, asked their customers to pay for it, then paid for it themselves. Their ultimate failure speaks to the flaws with a system that cultivates big, nasty factory farms but demands ultimately way too much from the little guys for them to have a real chance at profit, let alone a reasonable quality of life. Owner Jim Dunlop, an ALBA alum, wasn't shy about pointing out the land-access and meat-processing problems with said system, as I detailed with a post this fall.

Monterey Cookhouse Owner Earns Nice Nod

The Monterey Cookhouse's (642-9900) supremely welcoming owner-operator Linda Cantrell (above) received a much-deserved honor the other day with the inaugural John "Spud" Spadaro award, named for the late iconic owner-chef behind longtime Salinas institution Spado's.

This plaque honoring her achievement will appear on the wall from here on. Longtime industry vet Johnny Aliotti hatched the idea for the award and spoke to her warmth in front of a packed house there for a surprise ceremony at the Fremont spot.

"She represents everything that this award is about," he said. "You've seen it. She makes everyone feel good. Not many people do that. She knows and hugs almost everyone who comes in the door. John was the same way. He was all hospitality."

Eat Like a "Web Superstar"

Fame is often just a detail or two away.

The right conversation in an elevator. The right lactose-free smoothie in the morning. The proper wording in a press release. The right choice for which mountain to ski.

Seriously. Local semi-celeb and Cachagua resident Kevin Klein, who has appeared on Comedy Central and at scores of national events as a George W. Bush impersonator, told me he was discovered skiing around at Squaw Valley in Lake Tahoe. What if he went to Heavenly that day?

Snappy Shelly Steinbeck, an African leopard tortoise who lives at Salinas Public Library, is now a bone fied superstar: The webcam that tracks his snacking and napping and just reached 1,000,000 webcam views with the close of 2010—the most ever for a tortoise, according to library spokespeople and Justin TV, who provides the streaming service.

The detail he owes his web dominance to? Might just be his diet. It's all organic, local, garden-grown lettuce, radicchio, cherry tomatoes, grass, strawberries, nopales and the occasional plum, says head turtle caregiver/library clerk Valerie Henderson. He even chows native weeds like wild dandelion.

"You gotta eat healthy, you gotta eat right," she says. "It's a very healthy diet. He's got a good appetite. He eats a lot and grows a lot."

It's remotely possible it's not his diet—though studies have shown that 40 percent of how you feel is based on your last meal. If it's not, here's the other best contenders for what makes Snappy special enough to reach Internet superstar status appear below:

He's well-connected.
"Everybody knows Snappy," Henderson says. "When he's on his walk, people on their lunch break say hi, even the mailman knows Snappy. There’s a church across the street that provides meals and things to disadvantaged people. They all know Snappy."

He's an intellectual.
The guy's always hanging out at the library, after all. "Snappy’s very smart," Henderson says.

He's on message.
His favorite thing to tell kids: Reading makes you smart. At the weekly Snappy Time (Tuesdays at 4pm) kids read a nature-themed book and get to visit with the little reptile before doing some Mother Nature affiliated crafts. Yesterday Gabriel Xavier Morales, 6, of Salinas, bought a book about reptiles because of Snappy. "I like that he can swim and go inside his shell," Morales said. "It's cool."

He's a political playmaker.
"I don’t know if Snappy can run for mayor," Henderson says. "But [Salinas Mayor] Dennis Donohue is a fan of Snappy. He actually invited him to a press conference when [Snappy] was getting close to a million hits. Donohue awarded him a special recognition that posted in his habitat, for his service."

Taking the Leap: An Inspiring 2010

The apparently sauced knucklehead in the Jimmy Buffet t-shirt jumping off Bixby Bridge in front of an objecting CHP officer has to rank among the most striking single moments of 2010 in Monterey County.



But it's a cumulative accomplishment from our culinary community that is much more striking, if not downright inspiring.

In an atmosphere where people can't go more than several syllables without bemoaning the state of the economy, a wave of inspired new restaurants jumped into the soup.

It's impossible to measure the boost that gave all of us. We can look back at some favorites that came to be and that we covered in the Weekly and in this space, with a blog that also found its start in 2010:

Happy Girl Farms (372-GIRL) is suddenly making preservation and pickling sexy again in P.G.

Seaside Farmers Market (3-8pm Mondays in University Plaza) got fresh across town.

In Marina, Noodle Bar number two (384-6225) built upon a fun family business that occupies a tiny coffee-bar-style spot in Seaside. Just up from the little Seaside Noodle Bar, their cousin Mikey Nguyen opened Asian fusion spot Chopstix (899-2622), packing enough people in to earn itself another outpost, coming very soon across from Del Monte Center.

Element Tasting Bar and Pizza Bistro (998-7045) made a name for itself on River Road.

Not far from there, Rancho Cielo, landmark vocational educational center for troubled kids who need a new take on troubled life, added Drummond Culinary Academy with the crucial aid of a number of excellent local chefs.

Bellagio Pizzeria (643-9500), Habanero’s (375-3700) and Luxe Lounge, meanwhile, filled in where Croce's and Doc's once reigned in downtown Monterey.

Sakana Sushi (375-7375) is newly doing clever maki around the corner from there.

MYO number two (649-FROY) is bustling just up Alvarado.

Flanagan’s Irish-American Pub (625-5500) gives Carmel's Barnyard a much-needed watering hole (and the best fries this side of Maryland), Michael’s Taqueria (754-8917) is uplifting Oldtown Salinas, and much-ballyhooed Cannery Row Brewing Company gives Cannery Row and the wider Peninsula nothing less than a game-changer.

Miss Delish (612-1884) rode farmers market acclaim to a storefront on Lighthouse. Former Duffy Hunter's Tavern owners opened up Down Under Deli (625-DELI) in Mid-Valley.

Pastries and Petals (620-1400) does ambiance, style, savory and sweet on an off-beat street in Carmel while Babaloo Cuban Cuisine provides our first real food truck with pick-up.

The homegrown Bakery Station (783-1140) transformed a dilapidated gas station into a hub of fresh-daily creations.

KT’s Sweet Lunch (214-7465) now redefines the delivered business lunch as healthy, easy and affordable.

Even in a Valley with standouts like the Wagon Wheel, new French countryside-style Toast Carmel Valley (659-8500) can make a claim to best breakfast—and lunch and dinner ain't bad either.

Elsewhere in the Valley, Tim Wood is ushering in a new era of eating at Carmel Valley Ranch's Lodge (625-9500) and beyond.

The Otters Den (883-1227) is totally repimped in Marina, huge news for the college crew.

Monterey Bay Salt Company (760-6993) got grinding with help from Pebble Beach Food & Wine connections.

Tiny Viva La Crepe (601-4847) raised the bar for French flavor on the Wharf, of all places.

The inspiration also emanates from the vital rebirths happening in time-honored spots, with The Penny Farthing Tavern (422-5652), Pajaro Street Grill (783-1285) and Fresh Cream Restaurant (250-7943) ranking near the top. Terranova Fine Wines (333-1313) also enjoyed a second coming with upgraded technology and ambiance.

We're lucky to have them. Here's to all of 'em for taking the jump.

Cannery Row Animal

The coolest thing on Cannery Row isn’t the Forrest Gump haircut on the look alike guy or the pygmy seahorses.

It’s the mechanical bull El Mariachi Restaurant (324-4953) has in its dining room. I went in the other night for some Monday Night Football and the place was dead empty, but that was OK with this cowboy because it meant as many rides as we wanted, instant service from a cool bartender and quick delivery of some sturdy super nachos.

Turns out three turns on the bovine is just fine (and the operator/barkeep said he was taking it easy on us). The happy hour’s pretty good (half-price apps, $3.50 margaritas, beers that start at $2, 4-7pm weekdays) too.

Breakthrough Technology Alert: Beer Taps at Your Table

Though the Niners stink like a Porta Potty in the sun, there are some good things going on this football season. Like the redone Knuckles’ (372-1234) menu—Kobe beef mini dogs! California cheese steaks with sun-dried tomatoes and avocado!—and their tableside tap service, aka the Table Tender.

It is actually pretty cool. I was thinking it was a gimmick/dangerous to have a beer spout right there rising from your table, but on a busy game day, it is totally clutch to be able to tap yourself some
Kona Longboard or Coors Light rather than tackling a waiter. It bills by the ounce.

It’s $40 to reserve, but if no one has roped it off, you can swoop in there as we did and let the good times flow.

Standing record for a day, I’m told by 20-year vet Cindy the Superserver (seen here demo-ing the spout), is 1,300-plus ounces, which are tracked by the little digital monitor in the wall.

Extra point: Go in on a Tuesday and have a 50/50 chance of having your food paid for—they flip a coin as part of a promotion they’re calling “Toss It Up Tuesday.”

The Mucky Duck's Deal of the Year

The one and only Mucky Duck (655-3031), where the food is underrated and Jean the bartender is my hero—you owe it to yourself, if you like shooters, to try a Jean’s Genie, above—has the best deal in town Wednesdays with half-price night.

They celebrated the holidays by extending the deal to the whole week. The last day is this Thursday. That means half-price nachos....

...and fried pickles! A burgeoning magazine club and I descended on a recent Wednesday, ate and drank to our literary hearts' content—six of us—and still only spent $100, tops.

You know what to do.

Feeding the Need

Angels live among us.

Evidence—extensive evidence—lingers no further than the ever inspiring Monterey County Gives! website, which profiles the scores of local nonprofits participating in
the Monterey County Weekly Community Fund's annual fund-raising push.

Surprisingly few food/hunger-centered groups are involved—the Health, Wellness & Food category includes just two—but they are about as vital to our area's well-being as any organizations out there.

Ag Against Hunger feeds millions with what essentially would be thrown away. Without the Spreckels-based nonprofit, 11 million pounds of produce would have ended up in compost heaps or in landfills this year, instead of at local food banks which in turn distribute the food to groups that need it. The growers who produced that food would have had to pay a fee to dispose of it, and hungry people in three counties on the Central Coast, as well as those elsewhere in California, Colorado, Utah, Arizona and Washington, would not have access to fresh produce.

“We can actually feed one person for one pound of produce, and given that 11 million pounds were saved last year,” Ag Against Hunger spokeswoman Lindsay Coate told me last week. "That’s a staggering amount of people."

Much of their goods go to Food Bank for Monterey County, which leverages every dollar donated into seven pounds of food for the neediest bellies in town.

Donating to these do-gooders, or any of the many assembled on the Gives! website, is easy. I picked five of my favorites to give to and completed the donation in about two minutes.

Even if it's just a couple bucks that still helps a given group compete for bonus funds for drawing the greatest number of donors (or donors under 35). Better yet, the Weekly is adding $100,000 in donations to match reader giving.

A Christmas Gift For You: Three Rockstar Recipes

You can't spell celebration without e, a and t. To honor the holiday spirit of generosity and good eatin', three standout chefs from the Sardine Factory, the Preserve and Domenico's/Cafe Fina have shared unique and uniquely delectable dishes with Special Edible readers.

I was sold at "lollipop," but, like the Sardine Factory—which just added a new tapas menu and upgraded the front lounge—it gets better: You can eat the "handle." The Factory was already one of our local capitals for calamari, now they do it with even more style. And you can too.

Calamari Puff Lollipops
Bert Cutino
Sardine Factory

Serves 8

2 ½ lbs cleaned squid, filet only
½ medium onion, chopped
1 egg
1 parsley, chopped
1 bunch green onion, finely chopped
½ tablespoon granulated garlic
¼ cup cracker meal
¼ cup bread crumbs
1 tablespoon salt and pepper
oil to fry

Chop squid into small pieces. Add onion, egg, parsley, salt and pepper and granulated garlic into bowl. Mix thoroughly. Add half of cracker meal, baking soda and bread crumbs into mixture. Form into little two-ounce oval balls (about 1 inch in diameter) and roll balls into remaining mixture. Lay on sheet pan with parchment paper. Let set. Fry at 350°. Cook balls in a deep fat fryer until golden brown. Serve hot with your favorite sauce.

"We’ve been eating crab at my Nana’s on Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve every year since I was born,” says Dominic Mercurio, owner of Café Fina and Domenico’s on the Wharf.

Mercurio gets King Crab for his restaurants directly from the F/V Time Bandit, made famous on the Discovery Channel’s Deadliest Catch.

“King crab is so sweet and flavorful, like lobster," he says, "you don’t have to do much to it,” He usually serves it simply with butter and a few drops of lemon. Or he will crack the legs down the middle and serve them open-faced with a light scampi sauce.

When it comes to local Dungeness crab, he deploys a range of treatments: chilled with cocktail sauce and lemon; steamed with drawn butter; cioppino-style in a savory, light tomato broth; sautéed with crab butter, a bit of sweet wine, butter, green onions and a touch of hot sauce; and finally, his Nana’s Sicilian Salad-style, with an oil and vinegar-based marinade.

Nana’s Sicilian Salad-style Dungeness crab recipe
Domenic Mercurio
Cafe Fine • Domenico's

¾ cup of extra virgin olive oil
¼ cup of red wine vinegar
2 tablespoons chopped garlic
¼ cup of chopped flat leaf parsley
1 tablespoon Dijon mustard
Juice of one lemon
Salt and pepper to taste

Mix all the ingredients together in a bowl large enough for the three crabs. Add crab, stirring every 15 minutes for one hour to let the marinade saturate. Serve chilled. Preparation can be done in the morning or afternoon, as it is perfectly fine to let the crab sit for up to five hours refrigerated.


While the rain drives some insane in a nasty way, it moves local fungifiles to happy insanity. One of the most revered treasures they uncover: candy caps, a fragrant, syrupy sweet mushroom used in cooking to flavor foods like vanilla or truffles.

Santa Lucia Preserve Chef Carlton Lepine is a fungi pro who leads hunts through the ideally damp redwood and oak underbrush. When he scores these spores, the Preserve's residents and members win big. And while a lot out there off Carmel Valley Road costs hundreds of thousands, now you can eat like them without the massive mortgage.

Candy Cap Blondies
Carlton Lepine
Santa Lucia Preserve

1 1/2 cups light brown sugar firmly packed

1 cup unsalted butter
¼ cup candy cap mushroom, dried, ground fine 

2 ¼ cups all-purpose flour
¾ teaspoon baking soda

½ teaspoon salt 

2 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
¾ cup butterscotch chips

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Butter and flour a 9-by-13-inch glass baking dish.
Put the sugar in a large bowl. Melt the butter in a small skillet or in the microwave in a glass measuring cup. Stir the butter into the sugar until smooth, cool to room temperature.
In another medium bowl, whisk the Candy Cap mushrooms, flour, baking soda and salt together.
Beat the eggs and vanilla into the sugar mixture. Add the flour mixture a bit at a time and mix until a smooth thick batter forms. Fold in the chips, as desired.
Spoon the batter to the prepared dish and spread evenly to fill the dish. Bake until the Blondies are light brown around the edges and a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean, about 20 to 25 minutes.
Remove from the oven and let cool slightly. Invert onto a rack and cool completely. Cut into squares and serve.

The Bacon Revolution Is Just Beginning

Maybe you're like my editor, who's had enough of the bacon insanity that has been sizzling in our culture for the past few years.

"Bacon is our god," she says. "We are worshiping our pork-belly master."

Or maybe you're like me. I was attacking bacon-wrapped dogs from L.A. food carts before Tonya Harding's goons were attacking Nancy Kerrigan's leg. I've believed a breakfast joint is only as good as its bacon since I could say "over easy." I once named a kitten after a Baja California dish that wrapped prawns and jack cheese in you know what. (The little baller's name was Shrimp Papagayo.)

In a culture obsessed with bacon, I'm not just a member, I'm an early adopter and enthusiastic card-carrier. Just the other day I discovered NorCal's Bacon Hot Sauce, ordered some online and blew through two bottles ($14.99/three-pack; check out www.baconhotsauce.com).



But as cooks began chicken-frying bacon in Snook, Texas (check out the above vid), bakers started stuffing it in scones, Whole Foods kept slanging chocolate-bacon candy bars...



and YouTube freaks went on greasing us with videos on candy bacon (above) or weaving bacon into whole blankets, I figured we were approaching reached a saturation point.

Nope.



Now you can give your baby My First Bacon as its best friend. This piece of pork has more going for it than a slick personal statement (“You’ve got a friend in meat!”). The cute little guy’s three feet long, nice and squooshy like a stuffed animal, with cartoony eyeballs.

And (!): This is a creature that speaks for itself. Truly. Press the button behind where his left ear would be and the masculine-sounding meat says, “I’m Bacon,” in a low baritone that sticks in your head like turkey bacon to the pan.

ThinkGeek is the brains behind the bacon. Check out their "stuff for smart masses" website for more.

Did someone say best Christmas gift ever?

Adventures of Crab Santa

Last week insider sources tipped me off to a cracking deal on fresh crab. So I promptly appeared on Wharf Two Friday afternoon to pick up 11 from a lady fisherman named DeLay.

Jane DeLay ain't your average crabber. A dancer and former executive director of the Forest Theater Guild, she normally spends her time studying to be a nurse at MPC, working at the Monterey Bay Sanctuary Foundation and serving Greek grub at Episilon in Monterey. But that doesn't mean she wouldn't give it all up, as she did in taking a month off.

"I'd fish full-time," she says, "but with all the shortened seasons, that's not the reality."

She grabs her crabs in Half Moon Bay—the nearby San Fran bay nursery grounds and sandy bottoms tend to yield the biggest and most mature crabs early in the season, she says—aboard her captain friend Mike Ricketts' (no relation to Doc) Sea Hauk.

She calls herself the crew of the operation; Nellie here is security detail when they get back to shore.

They throw traps with favorite crab snacks like mackerel or squid or sardines, pull them up snapping with crab, and steam back here to the commercial wharf, where Royal Seafood’s Gino Pennizi kindly lets her use a tank and a workspace to slang her crustaceans.

Here's a peek at the tank and a good old fashioned Crab Battle in a Bucket over at Royal, still my favorite place for seafood in town:



Market price at the moment was $6 per big fatty—DeLay says they are averaging between 1.9 pounds and 2.25—and an extra buck for her to cook them if that's too complicated for her customers.

Her recipe is nice, easy and tasty in that way that lets the crab speak for its own fresh self: Once the water in your crabpot is boiling, throw the suckers in with lemon juice and salt, bring it back to a boil and then cook them for 12 minute even.

She bagged my babies and I took to delivering to fridges around the Peninsula.

Crab Santa struck twice.

Later we spread newspaper everywhere as four friends and I had a supreme messy feast of chilled crustacean in hot garlic butter, garlic bread, salad, Sauv Blanc and Chardonnay.

DeLay says she'll be back on the high seas once the weather eases off the 10-foot-swell stress around Friday. Reach her at whaledances@yahoo.com 383-9681 for availability.

Fresh and sweet, simple and sublime. 'Tis the (crab) season.

Way Cooler Than Keanu Reeves

Leo might be "the one" to save us from The Meatrix.

Or maybe not.

Take the red pill and find out.



If you found that swine in sunglasses as undeniable as I did, the sequels await:





It was several years ago when these viral animated shorts began zooming around cyberspace. Now they've not only reached a ton of people—according to the Meatrix website, they have been translated into more than 30 languages, reached more than 15 million viewers and represent one of the most successful online advocacy campaigns ever—but provide easy and practical avenues to eating more consciously, including a pretty handy guide to help people find good food sources.

Better yet, they make effective elements for teachers to use with students, as they do at the MEarth Hilton Bialek Habitat in Carmel.

Onward with the revolution.

Channeling Christopher Walken and Other Tim Wood Goods

Over the course of a six-part tasting—including delicious day boat sea scallops with satsuma mandarin, citrus brown butter, shiso greens and black truffle shavings (hidden among the wonton crisps above)—Carmel Valley Ranch Executive Chef Tim Wood showed what he can do mighty well. (Read more about the new Carmel Valley Ranch experience and ownership in this week's issue, including a companion piece by yours truly about the restaurant's revival.)

We grazed on Wood's Black Angus sliders with New York cheddar and red pepper jelly, Swank Farms organic beet salad with shaved fennel and olive oil croutons, delicious lox and latkes (it was Hannukah, after all)...

...and a double-stuffed profiterole that had me reconsidering my long-held suspicion of them.

Captivating tastes, all. But it was his commentary that captivated us the most.

He riffed on growing up in the Catskills, the intense types he worked for in New York at spots like Manhattan's Butterfield 81, the early days with Cal Stamenov and Christophe Grosjean at Bernardus' beginning, dropping in impressions of bosses and colleagues as he went.

As the commentary continued—"I'm the one they send VIPs when they need to be entertained and they don't know what to do," he says—he toured us through the kitchen, where he paused to help a cook he calls "Earrings" (for his huge lobewear) master a sauce with notable clarity and cool...

...then through a backstage demo kitchen adjoining a ballroom. He's already scheming some inspired Iron Chef-style events.

My favorite part of his free-flow had to be the comparisons he drew between himself and the rampant wild turkeys cruising the property—"I'm like the turkey up there on the branch, wobbling back and forth, with everyone watching"—and Christopher Walken.

"I'm like the Christopher Walken of chefs," he says. "I don't use punctuation."

Here's hoping Wood can dance like C.W. too:

Alberto's Celebrity-Quality Italian Crowns P.G.

Richard Nixon and I never had much in common. With the help of one of the most memorable personalities in Pagrovia, that has changed.

The other night at Alberto's (373-3993) at the top of Forest Hill, Alberto Bonatelli made a pal and I the same veal scallopini piccata he prepped for ol' Tricky Dick.

As guilty pleasures go, this might be one of the most pleasurable. I now get what a friend who grew up in P.G. meant when she told me it's the best she's had, stateside or in Italy.

Plenty came along with the piccata. Like imported Chianti light enough to counterbalance rich ravioli carbonara worth writing the Old World about. And a chicken saltimboca up to the name. And a caprese salad with a nice proscuitto-cheese twist.

And homemade basil-cello was as good as it sounds.

And tiramasu, moist and chocolatey in all the right ways, enough to meet a high challenge—namely, delivering a closing taste potent enough to appropriately punctuate such a strong sequence of flavors.

But that's only part of what Bonatelli dishes out. After he pulled a chair up to our table, turned it backwards and slid into it like a gun into a holster—"This is my home," he replied to my amazement at how well he fit in it—he proceeded to drop more names than the Yellowpages.

He and his Orsini Restaurant were the darling of California’ cushiest bit of coastline, Malibu (nouth of Santa Monica), for the '80s and then some, and he came away with waves of raves and stories. Late nights with Frank Sinatra. Rubbing aprons with Nixon and a number of other heads of state. Neil Diamond's affection for his veal parmesan. In between glory stories he'd dash away to the nearby intimate kitchen and return with more riches and snuggle right up to our table.

Check out this article (click on it to make it bigger) for a taste of his celebrity cred/obsession:

Lightly legendary local food expert Ray Napolitano, my Weekly colleague going on about half a decade, is the one who mandated I visit. I asked him what he thinks differentiates Bonatelli.

"What you get there is him cooking," he says. "Really that's what it boils down to. There's something about the way he puts food together. It's not like recipes are out of this world—they're mostly standard. That's what it's about: I've always felt like you could give 10 people the same ingredients, equipment and nine of them will taste similar and one won't. It's an art. He's an artist. He is [literally] an artist too, he paints and everything else. [Bonatelli does the funky murals that adorn the walls of his one-room restaurant.]

"When guys like him do something it's an art form. It's inexplicable. Doesn't look like he's doing anything different. When he cooks, especially when he's inspired, he simply does an amazing job. The first time I walked in there, I ordered linguini putanesca, a simple dish with four powerful ingredients that can screw it up if unbalanced. I was like s***, this is amazing."

For my part, as I left for a starlight hike through neighboring Del Monte Forest to dent the small innertube that had migrated to my midsection over the last couple of hours, I couldn't resist thinking Alberto's has a legitimate claim to the best-Italian-in-town crown. Joe Rombi’s (373-2416) deserves a nomination, but is a little fancier and spendier. Peppoli (647-7500) is incredible but even more expensive, even by Pebble Beach standards. Gino’s (422-1814) is an institution that deservedly earns our readers' best Italian food vote, but it deploys a different, spaghetti-and-pizza, more family-centered style. Cantinetta Luca (625-6500) does modern-hip Italian with aplomb, but tends more toward Cali-Itali fusion than classic fare.

Why doesn't he get more traffic, then? Maybe because it’s tucked into a strip mall. Maybe because he relies on word of mouth. Maybe some would prefer less forward hospitality. I won't linger too long on those queries—besides, the restaurant community certainly are aware of him, as are locals in the know—because I'm happy to keep it our little secret. I know Tricky Dick is good at that.

Because It's Not a Road Trip Without In N Out

I’d like to believe in free will. But every time I go on a road trip, I get a tasty reminder that my fate isn’t so much my own to manage, because I inevitably end up at the only chain I frequent, a little place you may have heard of called In N Out.

A recent visit inspired me to contact In N Out headquarters to get the real deal on the off-the-menu items I hadn’t figured out yet. As it turns out, I had no idea what a "Flying Dutchman" existed, let alone what it might be.

On this roadie, I tested two new off-the-menu ideas (while only temporarily abandoning my long-ago-established classic "secrets," the grilled cheese with grilled onions and the animal-style fries).

First up: fries cooked to order, like a burger. (The In N Out rep at headquarters said they can do well-done/extra crispy, "light well" and "light," salt-free and with just cheese, in addition to the grilled-onion-cheese-and-special-sauce animal-style approach).

I felt a little diva-like ordering "medium well" fries until the sunny young lady replied, "Medium well done well done or lightly medium well"?

I took the former (pictured above on the left, compared to standard issue on the right). I don't think I'll order any other way from here forward—they're crispier and more flavorful thanks to bonus sizzle and grease time. The road trippers with me unanimously agreed.

I also soaked up a Neopolitan shake. I'll never have to choose between the vanilla, chocolate or strawberry seduction again. It's even better than the strawberry-chocolate combo.

Also, to stem the boring cascade of ketchup, I asked for some special sauce they put on animal style items and got a couple of packets (above right). Just what some medium well well fries needed.

For more on the secret menu and developments at the Seaside In N Out to be, check out my post from earlier this year.